Make my Baby Gay!

There is an interesting article I read on Yahoo today talking about how couples are now flocking to the US and forking over up to $2oG so that they can pre-determine the gender of their child. I didn't even know we could do that. It makes me wonder ... what if they identified the "sexuality" gene and found a way so that they could toy with it so that parents would also be able to pre-determine the sexuality of their child. Somehow, I don't see heterosexual couples flocking over to the US and saying "Make my Baby Gay!" Still though, it's an interesting point 2 ponder ... the evolution of Science vs. God's natural selection.

Of course, there are those who still hold 2 the notion that being gay is some kind of lifestyle choice one makes which, in my opinion, is just silly. If you're gay, damnit you're gay, and chances are U were born that way. Now you can choose to be honest about it or choose to lie about it, but just because you may not live a "homosexual lifestlye" doesn't mean you're not still a big 'ole mo.

Seriously, though, I wonder how far this new science will go. Will couples start choosing their child's eye color, their character traits, whether or not they're a genius or an imbecile? These are all things that are as arbitrary and yet genitically specific as whether or not you're gay, right?

"A pill that will stop the wrinkles, a pill that will stop the pain, a pill that will make a baby never seek political gain. What's it all 4 when U can alter biology?" - Prince, New World

The Boob Tube

The plan last night was to go Brian's house to hear the progress on my songs for this EP we're hoping to have completed b4 I leave for TX in 2 weeks, but because of some computer glitches he was having in the studio we had 2 reschedule. So, what did I do? Jack shit. I sat on my tired ass and watched the boob tube, something I've always loved 2 do.

Now, mind U, there's a million and one other things that I should have been doing and needed 2 be doing, but I just couldn't pull myself away. It was so much easier to just veg there and let other people's fictional lives wash over me and numb me 2 comfort.

At a conference recently, a woman who wasn't much older than me and yet was making $25,000/month remarked that poor people always have the biggest tvs and rich people have the biggest libraries. I instantly thought of my out of work alcoholic uncle and his 500 inch flat screen tv that takes up all of his subsidized living room and chuckled.

It's so amazing to me how much little time there is in one day and when U start trying 2 make the most of the time, it makes U realize how truly precious and valuable it really is.

I have many goals I'm reaching 4 now and I think I have to divorce the boob tube because it's allure is just too overwhelming. If it's there and I'm alone, I will not pick up the phone, I will not write or practice, I will not do the things I need 2 be doing 2 advance myself, instead I will pick up the remote like a puppet and fucking veg. I'm an addict.

I have 2 cancel my Netflix subscription, at least 4 a while. It will be the hardest thing I've ever had 2 do, but it must be done. God, give me strength!

My only solace will be that I'll still have internet porn.

Stop moralizing on me, bitches!

"I feel numb. 2 much is not enough." - U2, Numb

Nookie Green

"Father, it has been one month since my last confession." "I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month." The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go and say three Hail Marys."

Soon after, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. "I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months."This time the priest questions, "Who is Nookie Green?" "A new woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replies. "Very well," sighs the priest. "Go and say ten Hail Marys."

At Mass the next morning, as the priest prepares to deliver his sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous woman enters the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp, as the woman in the matching green shoes and dress sits with her legs slightly spread apart. The priest turns to the altar boy and whispers, "Is that Nookie Green?" The bug-eyed altar boy can't believe his ears but replies, "No, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes!"

Ok, that one took me a sec 2 get but it was funny as hell. If U don't think it's funny, that's because you're not sitting at work bored out of your mind!

"You're fine as hell from head 2 pumps, if U were mine we'd BUMP BUMP BUMP." - Prince, Lolita

A Little Saturn History

As I stripped naked for my nightly ritualistic shower, I was daydreaming about where I wanted 2 b in 2 years, specifically about a home based studio that I intend 2 build in my house. Granted, I don't own a house yet, but hey, this is daydreaming, right?

Anyhoo, I started 2 think of all the old old songs I've written that I would record just for nostalgia sake, never to officially release. I'd use these old songs as kind of a practice to get my feet wet in running my own studio. Then I really started going back in the recesses of my mind and pulling up songs I haven't thought about in YEARS! And I was like, "damn, this shit would have been HOT back then!" Then it struck me ... my level of creative ouput then compared to now. Granted, I've written literally hundreds of songs, but when I was around 14 I'd say I probably wrote more songs in a month than I've written this entire past year. Life shouldn't get in the way, life should B the way.

Then I went back even further and thought about the very first songs I ever wrote. And I had 2 laugh cuz it's been so long, but when I first started writing I wrote songs for a group I wanted 2 put 2gether called "Storm" - 3 boys, 2 girls. Lawd, how corny! It was the summer of 1988 ... I think I was eleven ... and I had this grand imaginary notion that I'd meet these people, form this group called Storm, record these brilliant songs I had written and immediately become child prodegies and world pop stars. OMG. This from a shy boy who didn't even like speaking 2 new people, much less singing in front of them!

It wasn't until 1990, 2 years later when I was 13, that I developed the name "Saturn" and started writing songs purely for myself. I even cut a couple of demos when I was 15, how could I have forgotten about them? I got such a bad response from them (except from my Mom of course, who couldn't believe a 13 year old wrote such nasty lyrics, LOL) that I basically gave up on the notion of ever being good enough to pursue it for real. So, I chose to pursue acting instead, but secretly I never stopped writing or dreaming ...

The title of my first finished song as Saturn was "Good Things Will Come" and I will record it one day. It seems only fitting and now more than ever I believe good things will come 4 me.

I lost all the hard copies of my old old songs, including all the Storm songs, so it's all just retained in my brain. Just 4 prosperity sake I'm gonna post the titles here so that I never forget (cuz I had to struggle to remember all this, but it's weird, it's like I unlocked the gates and it all came flooding back!)

STORM - LOVE & FEAR ( 2 sides of a cassette, I didn't know what a CD was back then)

Side A:
Somebody
Runaway
Love Is Such a Mystery
Passing Time
Changing of Season
Take It From My Heart
Mission Impossible
Anyway U Love Me
Romeo & Juliet
Don't Cry Aloud

Side B:
Pot of Gold
Fire
Love & Fear
Fancy Footwork
Partytime
Love Is Not a Game
Goodbye, Senorita
Ancient Lovers
Friends
The Jam Train

All songs that R significant 2 me ... and songs U will NEVER hear! :-)

Why am I even posting this foolishness? It's after midnight and I'm slightly delirious!

"In a world of desire where your heart is on fire if you can learn then U shall inherit a thousand years of my life and though my pain and strife U shall see U'll find the love that U long 4." - Saturn, Good Things Will Come

The 5 Things that Make U Happiest

Here are my 5, in no particular order:

1. Uncontrollable laughter with people I'm close 2.

2. Mind blowing, body wrenching, guilt free orgasms, rare though they may B.

3. Kick ass roller coasters that make me wanna ride again and again and again.

4. Getting completely lost and caught up in a movie or a TV show or a book or music or a play.

5. Creating something that engages people and sharing it with them and having them enjoy it with me, ie: music, plays, writing, entertainment ... the only things I've ever wanted 2 do with my life.

Hmmm, as of today if these 5 things make me happiest, I am determined 2 do more of them!

Soooo, what are YOUR 5 things???

"All I really want is 2 B happy and 2 find a luv that's mine, it would B so sweet." - Mary J. Blige, Be Happy

13 Days

13 days left of having a safety net. Oh, dear Lord. I admit I was scared 4 some reason when I went 2 tell the owner of the company I quit. I wrote a nice little letter and everything. What did I think would happen? All he said was "goodbye" and "thank U 4 being a good employee." I'm surprised he didn't say "would U like 2 biggie size that?" it was so impersonal. Damn. That's it. After five and a half years. I walked away KNOWING I'd made the right decision, if only I'd done it sooner.

Now comes the hard part. Yes, I have a plan ... sort of ... but it doesn't involve running back 2 get another boss. I want 2 be my own boss. I want 2 have control of my life. I'll run out of money in 3 months and probably HAVE to get at least a part time job of some sort just 2 eat and pay the bills, but 4 some strange reason, while in the eyes of the world it may seem mad, I feel quite liberated. No regrets . Now, let's see if I say that when I'm eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!

Let the journey begin!

"If God is a DJ, life is a dancefloor." - Pink, God is a DJ